Autism - A Small Victory

Well, we are 1 week out of school and I have already begun preparation for transitioning my son to summer school. It will begin in July, will not be held at his regular elementary school, and his special ed instructor and therapists are unfamiliar to him. To be honest, I have been preparing for summer since March. We have a six month lead time on most of what we request to ensure things run smoothly for my son. Issues can conveniently slip through the cracks if we are not on top of things daily. Appropriate lead and time management ensures accountability. I am confident that with the social story created, summer school pictures requested, and daily visits to the school playground, it will be enough to familiarize my son to his new surroundings and minimize his anxiety...or so I hope and pray.

Onto the requests we have made for fall. Again, we have been dealing with these requests since April 1 (PPT meeting). We have had limited success in getting any progress and my frustration was nearing monumental proportions. This is something I never want because my emotional side takes over and I feel like my credibility is lessened and brushed off as "just another emotional parent". I really hate it when I let the love and passion I have let loose because tears begin flying and I can't seem to stop....credibility lost. This is where I have been for months with the school.

The administration was sticking their heals in for 2 requests of ours: retain paraprofessional and teacher for consistency and educational progress. Note: we decided to retain our son in Kindergarten for another year to allow his social skills to develop and close the gap between his peers. We were told in no uncertain terms that our requests would not be honored because of school policy. In light of these "policies", I began requesting some major preparation and transition plans for my son: (1)new para train with the current person to understand my son's motivations and personality (2) this individual had to have special education training (3)I would have to meet with him/her and (4) a timeline prepared of how the school intended to handle the transition. All of this never happened. Frustration was mounting when I received a call from the school (on my son's last day) indicating that our requests will be granted for the coming year. Better late than never. Amazing!

It is one more victory for us and proof that if you advocate for your child, the school cannot ignore your pleas....even the emotional ones. I'm not sure why the change of heart. I have a feeling it was due to lack of planning and some thorns in their sides (us), but it really doesn't matter. What matters is that my baby is going to get what he needs and that is priceless to me. All will be forgiven if the school does right by my son. Thrilled doesn't even come close to what I am feeling.

For more information on advocating for you child, visit your local parent advocacy center. In Connecticut, the site is http://www.cpacinc.org/

Autism - Sunflower

Dedicated to Miss Kathleen (xoxo)

The school year is at an end. I usually don't have trouble overextending myself in gratitude to the team of school personnel that have worked with my son. This year is a little different. My heart isn't in the same place as previous years and I struggle to find the right words (or any words for that matter) to express appreciation for their guidance. There hasn't been all that much. The team involvement was not what I had hoped for at the beginning of the year (see post from September's http://www.pressdough.blogspot.com) . I must emphasize that my distant feelings are not meant for all of my son's assistance (his paraprofessional and physical therapists are fabulous).

To the individuals who have dedicated themselves to my son and to me are, I have to thank you from the depths of my heart and soul. I leave you with a poem (or whatever you would like to call it as I am no poet) I wrote about our angel on top:

Radiant Sunflower

Seedling
Roots tangled

Dirt unsettled
Struggles to break the barrier
Breaks through with unnoticeable difference
Additional water, sun, nurturing and love required
Inconvenient with an unfamiliar amazement
Greenery begin to show
Setbacks endured
Watch with anticipation
Watch with hope
Blossoming with its uniqueness
Bursting with beauty
Earning each petal, one by one
The core so strong
A sunflower emerges despite itself
Character created
Never defeated

Radiant

Special education teachers, paraprofessionals, physical therapists, speech pathologists, occupational and social skill therapists, adapted physical education instructors and mainstream teachers working with inclusion:
Please keep your dedication to our children, try not to be afraid of becoming emotionally invested, stay true to what you know is right for the child and know how much you mean to us (the families). Thank You!

Autism - The "BIG" Walk

In my need for creating memorable traditions, every year since my son was diagnosed, we raise money and go on (what my son calls) the "BIG" walk. It is a day of celebrating and support of our children who are on the spectrum for autism. There are many organizations for autism that have walk events throughout the year. For us, we participate in the Autism Speaks, Walk for Autism held at the Manhattanville college campus at the beginning of June.

The day is even more important because it usually is scheduled during the same week as my son's birthday. This year was no different. We all woke up bright and early and began with joyful, excited, and repetitive announcements from my son: "Today's the BIG walk, Mom?", "When are we going to the BIG walk, Mom?", "We will bring the wagon, Mom?" We all wear, the coveted, red t-shirts to show our comradery. Red also happens to be my son's favorite color. The weather was perfect as we wait for our family of team members to arrive at our house.

After packing up the cars, all the members of team RYEBREAD (a nickname we gave to our son at birth...he was as tiny as a Ryebread) loaded in. Upon arrival, my son took controls of the wagon handle and began pulling it up the hill to where all the walkers were congregating. It is quite an event. There was face painting for kids, tattos, bouncers, refreshment stands and an information tent where families can seek out resources. That tent in itself is probably lifesaving to many.

The horn blew and we were off walking in appreciation of all our family, friends, and acquaintences that so generously gave to our fund. It always is a bit emotional for me. I see such sparkle in my son's eyes and hope that everyone can see what I see. This is a child so eager to please, so gentle in mannerism, so impressionable yet makes the most impression on us all, fun loving with a sense of humor, truly a harmonious person... Do or can others see what I see?

Last thought - As we walked, we thought to bring my son's new bubble blower. It was one of the best things we did that day. Bubbles make children laugh and parents happy for the distraction. Has a bubble ever popped on your cheek? It can bring out the silliness in anyone.

It was a fun morning and another year with tradition...or some could say routine:)

Autism - The Trees Through The Forest

After this weekends adventures, it is amazing to me but I feel a sense of joy Here's the story:

This weekend consisted of a sick 3 year old with (what we simplified as) "fast poopies"(FP) and a fever, a child who (enjoys turning things) turned a dial called "thermostat" on our spare fridge to the zero position which thawed the entire contents-giving us no options but to throw out the food inside, a Sunday mass cut short due to the FP problem, an Easter egg hunt, Easter egg decorating, a birthday party for a classmate, extended family dinner, and a trip to the emergency room for a googly eye inserted (stuck) in my 3 year old daughters nose, occurring during family dinner and the birthday party where my husband and son were at. Forgive me for the run on sentence but I wasn't sure if or when the craziness would end. This could be enough to throw any sane person into a spiral of insanity. The thing is, I felt and still feel quite sane, even harmonious.

I suppose the couple glasses of wine I had during the festivities on Sunday may have kept my wits about me but I know that wasn't it. I was on a natural high that lowered the stress and aggravation I would normally feel. I get a natural high every time my son makes a step closer to relating to his peers and is able to feel the joy that a typical 5 year old has. It happened at the Easter egg hunt.

Last year, we attended our first Easter egg hunt. It was a cold, damp day to begin a tradition of childhood fun. Aside from the off weather, we quickly realized that our kids would not go near the costumed bunny or chick and didn't have a handle on what their task/job is. Another words, when the horn blows, they should run out into the field and pick up any piece of candy or plastic egg and drop them into their baskets. We didn't realize that this was something we needed to teach to our son. When the time came, the horn blew and we ran out with our children picking up some of the goodies and trying to explain (in a very fast manner as the other children were like vultures) what to do. Talk about frustration. Though we had a good time, it was a bit sad because both of our kids didn't really "get it" and they didn't get the same experience that the other children did.

This year was different. We arrived early so we could pick our spot around the field and transition our kids by explaining what they needed to do. We lined up behind the cones and waited for the horn to blow. I could see the anticipation in my son rising. He was excited and knew what he needed to do. Finally, the horn blew and we ran out into the field. Our little 3 year old needed a some help, but she was doing pretty good on her own. Meanwhile, my son was targeting items and snatching them up like a pro, giggling with elation. We stayed out of the crowded areas so that he wouldn't get overwhelmed. It was a great strategic move as well. He filled his basket to the rim with goodies while his peers were fending off each other as they dove for the same items.

It was such a great moment. I love that my son was able to feel like everyone else. He knew he was involved. After, I saw him strut with such pride and confidence. He was on top of the world. The real beauty is that he gets so much more from such an experience than any of his typical peers or even his sister. His motivation is purely for fun. He knows that each candy he picks up, he neither wants to nor will eat. Yet, he is the happiest child I saw walk off that field of candy. My son isn't caught up in the greed and need of getting all the sugar possible. He just wants to enjoy the moment, the task, the atmosphere, and the holiday. He takes it all in and is in heaven. While the other children do have fun, many (including my daughter) are looking at "what's in it for me". My son savors the experience.

Upon arriving home, he divvies up all his goods. He lines them up, counts them, discusses them and then starts handing them out. He comes to me and says "Mom-which one do you like?", in his broken and a bit repetitive speech. He is thrilled to be giving me part of his treasure that he worked so hard for.

So after all that went on this weekend, all I can really focus on is the joys of normalcy that my son felt. It was an ethereal event that surpasses spoiled food or even a googly eye in the nose (though I will admit, I was so relieved once it was extracted).

Autism and Realities

Realities~

I commend all those trying to spread the word about autism (autism spectrum disorder/ASD) by using their talents, influence, and resources.

As I was watching a program on CNN last night about the debate over causation, Hollywood personalities (with children afflicted) gave their very passionate rendition of why so many children are diagnosed and the cause of the increasing numbers. It was also suggested that there is a cure. This is very disturbing on many levels.

As a parent, I would love to believe that there is a cure in taking specific actions to change immunization timing, diet, or other methods. The fact is that this is a spectrum disorder. What works for one, does not work for all. Especially those loves who are diagnosed as having a more profound version of ASD. This type of awareness disturbs me because parents, feeling so lost in this circle, may go down a road of false hope. I am not suggesting that I don't believe in hope. Quite the contrary, I believe in such enormous potential (hope) in our children, I just don't think they will be cured.

No cure~
In order to help my child, I have to admit realities. My baby will not be cured. I come from a point of "I can's"and how I can help.

To begin, I start the list with: I can....

• I can give him the tools to work through his deficits.
• I can love him and teach him to love.
• I can create a safe, routine, and nurturing environment to promote learning and his/her potential.
• I can look for new ways to teach through pictures, experience and others.
• I can diminish anxiety through sensory awareness, sensory diets, and instinct.
• I can treat him/her as a valuable member of our family.
• I can learn from my son's hard work, tenacity, exuberance, and integrity. He is a hero.
• I can...

Actions~

From my previous post the diversity day held at my sons school was great. Stations were set up with simulations from friends who have a disability. Suggest this to your school or PTA. Stations and/or simulations consisted of: fine motor activities (buttoning or snapping a coat with oven mitts on, writing with your least dominant hand, grasping small items with tweezers), Gross motor activities (trying to make a basket while in a wheel chair), simple activities (walking blindfolded) and much more.

Be passionate without intense emotion. I noticed how intense the guests were on that CNN program last night. It came to my attention that I may look as intense while dealing with PPT's or other meetings for my son. It is hard to deny such feelings but I am beginning to realize that I am sending out the wrong message. I may not be achieving what I set out to because I look like I am just a crazy parent. I want everyone to understand the importance of my requests or actions through the passion I possess. Unfortunately, my passion may be the very thing that is discrediting me and my purpose.

Sign up to support or raise money for Autism. We participate in the Walk Now for Autism in Westchester, NY, raising funds for Autism Speaks.

Programming~

April 6th: Discovery Health Channel - begins at 8 p.m EST - Unlocking Autism - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwZyHpDHLGk

Autism Awareness

Happy Autism Awareness Month!

April is the month of new beginnings. Flowers begin to bud, a resurrection is celebrated, rainy days begin the harvest, daylight grows longer, and a renewed sense of energy seems to flow through. It is only fitting that this same month dedicates itself to raising awareness for autism, compassion and hope for new beginnings to every family afflicted or those who may become.

Personally, this is a month of responsibilty. A responsibility that involves doing whatever it takes to educate, assist, and involve my family, friends, and community in understanding autism. I am excited to begin by participating in diversity day, appropriately held on April 2nd (World Autism Awareness Day), at my son's elementary school. Stations will be set up to simulate the difficulties a peer with a disability may encounter (during daily tasks that are typically easy for most of us). I will be demonstrating at the fine motor station where the children will actually be given the opportunity to experience the frustrations and difficulties of a disabled peer. It is a reminder to us all that awareness can begin at the any age. The benefits these youngsters receive in understanding their friends produces an empathy that will encourage friendships to be made, to strengthen or to grow. The time to make an impression is when minds are impressionable.

Check back often, I hope to post (often) with personal experiences and triumphs, awareness suggestions, and facts.

Autism: Team Meetings

Well, it took me a little while to figure out how to "work" team meetings. I have never felt that adversity is the route to take in motivating others to take action. Since September, I entered each team meeting with encouragement, optimism, and the intention to help the team of therpists and teachers working with my son. Initially, I was met with an energy and openess from each that I felt would positively impact my child's progress.
Over the past 6 months, we have had concerns. At first, it seemed that we were heard. Then I began to realize the inadequacies and my gut feeling telling me that, despite what everyone was saying at the team meetings, my son was not receiving the most out of all his time at school. We hired an educational consultant/advocate to observe him in school. I was hoping that I was just an overbearing parent and that these people...this team of professionals, would do what is best for him. They would just inherently do this...if only because he is a child, right? How could anyone turn a blind eye on a child? Apparently, the politics (between administration and teachers/therapists) at school takes presedence over meeting a child's true potential. No one wants to speak up for fear of ruffling the administrative feathers.
I was correct about the problem in my son's program and meet with the team tomorrow (along with our educational consultant). It is disappointing because we, as parents, have communicated our concerns repeatedly on this very issue(negative peer model), only to have the school tell us they see no problem. We wanted to work as a team to accomplish what we need to....which is to allow my son to reach his potential. The lessons I've learned:
1.) If you want change to happen (in your child's program), you need to hire outside help. The school district wants parents to "trust" them in their cookie cutter approach to handling special needs children. They will work with you, but truly won't listen unless you make waves. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
2.) You will never get more if you don't ask. You must do your due diligence and research, research, research. I would begin at the local advocacy organization and network with other parents to find out what they have. If you don't know what to ask for, you will never be able to get it.
3.) You must give appropriate time to the teacher and any new therapists, but determine how much time is appropriate. I think I waited a tad too long. I think the first 2-3 months of the school year, should be enough time for transition and the beginnings of progression and child/teacher or therapist connection. If your child isn't connecting with his/her therapists, you need to ask why. Therapy may be hampered with a void in that relationship.

I'll let you know how it goes.