Autism and the Tooth Fairy

Last week, my son lost his first tooth. This is a pretty momentous occasion as it symbolizes that your "baby" is even growing older. After the new year, I had a feeling that Ry would begin this stage of the tooth fairy and began preparing him for a dental appointment. With all of Ryan's oral motor sensitivities, we weigh each battle and decided to hold off on oral hygiene ( just the dentist) because we had "bigger fish to fry". He finally opened his mouth wide enough that I thought a visit to the dentist might be do-able, so I began telling him about it.

Well, I guess my feeling was right because he lost his first tooth last week during school. Losing a tooth is a somewhat abstract concept. With most things, Ryan learns concepts by experiencing them. He doesn't understand most things by just talking about what will happen. This was true of losing a tooth and the tooth fairy.

In losing the tooth during snack, his paraprofessional realized his tooth was missing, found the tooth and proceeded to show my son. Ryan was not impressed and excalimed, "Don't put it back in"! This is how he thinks. His understanding goes as far as his experience will let him. Today, there is a space in his mouth and there is nothing we can do to explain to him that a grown up tooth will grow there. We have to wait until it happens. We were just relieved that he didn't freak out about losing the truth. On the contrary, he lost it and didn't even let anyone know. I brushed his teeth in the morning and didn't even realize it was loose .

Fast forward to the evening when the tooth fairy is coming. Again, Ryan does not enjoy the mystique of such an event. He asks me to sleep with him. I didn't see that coming. In trying to minimize his anxiety, I offered to call the tooth fairy and tell her that we will send the tooth through the mail. She could send the "payment" after she receives the tooth. In some respects, he understands normality and didn't want me to do anything different. Still, he didn't know what to expect and that can make him crazy.

I was pleasantly surprised that everyone slept through and woke to find that the tooth fairy did slip in, take his tooth, and leave money for his bank. His next tooth will be less stressful for him because now he understands through his experience.